My actual appreciation speech....

First of all, I would like to give thanks to God, for it is through His will and purpose that both Christine and I could meet up with each other and to be united as husband and wife. For God is an all knowing God and He knows our individual character, both strengths and weaknesses... well enough to put us together. We pray that both of us would continue to put our faith in God and to trust that all things would happen according to His perfect purpose. We have faith that His grace is sufficient for us as we embark on life challenges as husband and wife.

Our parents has spend a good 20 years of their life taking care of us and ensuring that we have the best they could provide. And they spend a further 15 years worrying about us, whether we would mix with bad company or not having a good job and finally whether we will find the right partner in our life. For all the tears and sweat that they had shed on each of us, we would want to express our heartfelt gratitude to them.


My father painted the house partially and cooked for us most of the time in preparing for the Big day

I would want to specifically mention about my mother. To me, she is a very loving and sacrificial mother. She is also a very strong woman that is able to face life challenges head on, highly motivated and persistent. I hope to have half of her determination. My mother's main priority on me, is that I will be educated and that I will grow up to be a healthy person. Which is why, even though my mother is a housewife, she will never give up any opportunity to find extra money so as to finance our extra education. Even at a young age, my mother will do everything to ensure that we take tuition(or could it be I was too dumb) and my sister, music education. She has tried selling homemade roasted peanuts, baking mooncakes, butter cakes and cookies. When our whole family moved to JB, she started to sew leather shoes. Sometimes she would do all these even till late at night. And with all the money gained, she would, without much hesitation, use it on our education or on anything that is for our own good. She is such an enterprising and purpose minded person.

My mother lovingly cleaning up the house in preparation for the Big day

I'm grateful that she forced me to study. For when I finally decided to study again in my early 20's, I know for the first time, I am studying for myself and not to please her. It was also at that time that I finally realise, with the foundation my mother has help me to build, catching up with the rest of the group wasn't an impossible task. It wasn't easy with my poor SPM result, but it was not impossible. Thanks to my mum and dad, that I am able to have such a foundation. If I had a mum that would go easy on me, that would not risk the children hating them throughout their teenage years, ....then most probably I would still be hanging around and not having any proper skill to depend on. My parents did all they could and sacrifice all they had, for both me and my sister's future.

Thirdly, I would like to thank the church and Pastor Rev. Wong. I thank them not only because they have facilitated and arranged the wedding as if I am a long time member of the congregation, but especially because of the love everyone of the church has showered on my parent. I have heard of many stories from my mother, of how the brothers and sisters of the church displayed agape love through their time and money. Every time I hear of these stories, I would feel touched to the core by the love of God, displayed through these brothers and sisters. All these makes me feel that the love of God is real and that the fellowship of Christ is alive and strong!

I wish also to express my deep gratitude to our wedding coordinator, Sis Sun Mei, the head of the ministry, brother Chong Ming, the Music team, the children who are so cute and disciplined (we are pretty worried during rehearsals...haha), the choir team, brother Peter Lee who takes the role of the official Photographer and the whole team of brothers and sisters who takes cares of everything from ushering and decorating, to serving the food. The whole church are completely mobilised for our wedding! We sincerely acknowledge the love all of you have displayed in preparing for the wedding ceremony.

We have a group of frens and brothers and sisters who had travelled all the way, some from Singapore and others from Selangor just to be with us today. We would also want to acknowledge the tremendous support given by our cell members from CBC-Kota Damansara, brothers of the cell who are always cheering me from behind and sisters who are always scheming. We hope you have as much fun as we do. Thank you for sharing the joy with us.

Relatives from both side, we thank you for your attendance and we would like to take the opportunity to apologise should there be any inconveniences or displeasure that arises during the wedding. In addition, we would like to thank Aunty Ivy for baking her delicious and renowned kuih Lapis until past midnight, bringing it across the causeway and lovingly cupping them into shapes of love on the eve of our wedding.


Lastly, we would like to thank a young woman who, despite knowing us for such a short period, has showered much time and love on us. We are grateful to God for bringing such a person into our life. It is through her continued guidance and incessant prayers during those challenging times, that our lives were being aligned again, according to God's will and purpose. Pastor Alexa, the love you have shown us, has open our eyes to see and understand that there is no boundary or limitations to God's love. And above all, you have shown us that God is not judgemental but patient. Thank you for preparing both me and Christine to be a proper husband and wife, with each other and in Christ.

We feel tremendously blessed that throughout our life, all the pastors that we encounter has been such God fearing and God loving people. This itself is a good testimony that God does indeed loves us.

Finally, we thank each and everyone for all the gifts and best wishes showered upon us. May our hearts continue to be align and close to God and may our marriage be a good testimony of God's love to us.

Thank you and God bless.

Pang Khong Lin & Christine Qwik Lee Lee

Why some people stop blogging?

Do you know blogging can sometimes be something that is sad to some people? Now why is that? There are people like me and some blogger friends who turned to the blog to write about whatever that's in our mind. It could be the current emotion, thoughts, perception of issues surrounding us and many other personal stuff which we hope to share with others. But being personal, it also means whatever we wrote would result in some reaction from other parties, and usually these other parties are someone whom we know. Which basically means, if a fren got offended, you cannot just ignore them like an anonymous visitor, neither can you leave it as it is. The same goes to our partner and even siblings.

So basically, bloggers like us always run into these dilemma. We need to write and to voice out our views and emotions. We do hope to solicit some form of response, especially from someone who knows us, but at the same time, we do not wish that whatever we wrote here come to the knowledge of certain people that is close to us......

I know a brother of mine that likes to write and expresses his feelings through blog. But now, he is waiting for his readership to dwindle to Zero, before considering writing again. My guess is that he got his fingers 'burned' from some articles which he put up some time ago. That's another dilemma for bloggers like us. I believe many of us did consider moving house (url), but if that means losing close readers or readers who knows us, that defeat the purpose too!

So the next time when some bloggers you know stopped blogging, the reason could well be that they are still searching for the courage to write what's in their mind and to face the consequences that comes. And these period of searching within ourselves and at the same time not having any outlet at all for our emotions and thoughts can be really killing...

18 days to my wedding and my current mood is - melancholy

Back to Hometown on June 2009

Was back to hometown for an important date. Wedding Photo Taking...!!

Weeks before the day approaches, I was having mixed feelings. No, it's not that I am afraid of getting married, but whether I should go for a diet. You see, for the past 1 month, I have been gaining weight. My weight has always been hovering around 81kg, but now it's approaching 86kg. Seriously, I am not bothered with the extra bulge at my stomach, but I am just worried that I will look fat in the photos. And 20 years from now when my children see these photos, I can't bulls... that their dad used to be super fit and muscular....

Anyway, the photo session went well. Christine has more shots than me, but the end album will have more of my photos than hers. She's not satisfied with the result of the photos, hence most of the photos selected are mine. We had some arguments while shortlisting these photos, especially on photos which I feel that she looks good but she adamantly thinks otherwise. Of course, as I have been forewarned by my brother Soni - should there be any disagreements in wedding preparation, remember to backdown and agree to all the other party opinion....hehehe.... My response is - you think that is easy to do meh?

On the next day, after church service at Vision Johor Jaya, we plan to visit sister Ivy in Kulai with sis Sun Mei (my wedding coordinator). We had some good beef noodles at Kulai before proceeding to Pontian. There were many durian stalls on our way to Pontian, but our sister Ivy insist on having only Pontian durian. While I failed to understand the difference between the durian in Pontian and from other places, I did warned her that she may not find any in Pontian itself. It's like the trip we made to Kuala Selangor during Hari Raya Haji or Korban. There were plentiful of roadside makeshift stalls selling rendang and freshly barbequed lemang. But we wanted to buy it at Kuala Selangor, hoping that it will be tastier and cheaper. But we find not a single stall upon reaching there....hehe...

Upon reaching Pontian, and as expected - durian nowhere to be seen. We spend a short time with Christine's family before proceeding to Kukup fishing village and hopefully finding some durian on the way there. The first thing that I wish to do upon reaching Kukup is to find the primary school that is build on stilts. This is so that I can visit the toilet and relive a decade old experience of pissing to the sea! But alas, the school were locked. On the other hand, sister Ivy is enquiring every shop by the road for Coconut Jelly. Now, what is coconut jelly? and why in Kukup? It seems that Coconut jelly is the new in-thing nowadays. And for more than 10 stalls which we asked, most of them run out of stock.

We went back to Pontian late evening and on the way, stop by the roadside to have durian. The durian is cheap and we have a great time eating on the spot. Sis Ivy actually gave us a tip on how to remove the durian adour from our hands after eating. It seems that it can be effectively removed by running waters through the outer shells and cleaning our hands with these waters!!

okay, I have to admit that the smells is indeed not there.....but I just can't verify if the smell is still there without having waters running through the shells....

we finally reached Pontian around 8pm and we proceed to the hawker center. The must have item for the trip is Satay BABI!!! Yes, this is the typical satay which we are familiar of, but with pork! And they taste heavenly! Of course there are others tasty hawker food but the star is still and definately Satay Babi!

FYI, Pontian is also famous for the Pontian Wanton Mee which are only available in the afternoon and early evening.

Some shots which we have taken....

Body still not at 100%

Sigh, it's an hour away before Christmas. I still can feel that I have yet to fully recover from the flu and fever. While flu and fever are common experience (who never suffer from it before occasionally..?), somehow the flu and fever that I experience this time seems a bit different. For example, the fever never really subsided until the 4th day after medication. Another factor is the high temperature of my fever. A few weeks before the fever, i have plenty of phlegm that mixes with fresh blood. That goes on for a few days. Every now and then, I still find some dried blood inside my nostrils. Around those time too, I have such severe body/back ache that I have to take leave to stay at home.

Is my body too 'heaty'? What is wrong with me? Is my hyperthyroidism coming back?

Whatever it is, the time has come to take good care of my body. I should seriously limit the amount of fried stuff that I consume, banana leaf rice, junk food and other heaty food like chocolates. I cannot afford another episode like last time where I lost everything just because of my over confidence and ignorance.

By the way, my car now is in the Perodua workshop after ramming into a D'Kayu restaurant lorry near my house. Whose fault it is? well...let just say that I drive at a slightly higher speed on that day and that Indian driver didn't stop at the 'T' junction. What an eventful week....

Mersing Trip - October 2008

I made this trip without the knowledge of my parents. Maybe you think it's not proper not to let them know. But my sixth sense tells me that certain things need to be done quietly. There is no need to make a hoo-ha about it. Not that my parents would stop me from making the trip... but maybe I just don't want to make them worry. Yea, the roads from Kluang to Mersing can be dangerous for drivers that does not have enough rest, patience and experience driving on narrow winding roads.

Will update further on the happenings and highlight of the trip. At this moment of time, let me say that my eyes welled up when I saw her upon reaching Mersing... sigh...I have been crying for quite a number of times within a short span of roughly 3 months over different issues than for the last 10 years in total!!!

Sorry folks! I am back...(shiok sendiri...as if I have many readers)

Sigh... Have not been updating my blog for so long. I have always believe, the moment I start blogging, I am basically back to normal - emotionally and mentally that is. Many things had happened to me, my gf and my family during these difficult 2 months. It was indeed an eventful period of my life, where there were plenty of tears, laughter, heartache, emotional roller coaster and at the same time gladness.

I am glad that I started blogging again. At the very least, I could write in my blog what I do not wish to mention to others. It is through my blog where I could write, discuss, criticise and rant without any sort of restrictions whatsoever. I find this extremely therapeutic. It helps me to arrange my line of thoughts in a better way, and allow me to see things in a more objective manner. Yes, yes, I know some of you would like to suggest me to pray instead of write. But come on, can't I write first before I pray? Sometimes my mind is so mess up that I don't even know how to begin praying. And even when I pray, by the time I say Amen!, I would have forgotten some of the things which I have prayed during the minute long prayer!

Previously, I have always forwarded my blog address to cell members and friends and I think that was a grave grave mistake. Hopefully, most of them would have now forgotten about me having a blog.

But if you know me personally and you are reading my blog, please respect my privacy and treat me as KaKiaYam. You are still welcome to comment, but I don't expect you to spread what I am writing here to others. You can engage me and have arguments, but all these must only take place in this blog and not outside of it. Unless I am the one who start talking about it. If you are not alright with this arrangement, stop visiting my blog, start one of your own. I hope that does not sound arrogant, but I consider this the last bastion of my privacy, if you get what I mean.

Shit, even as I am writing this, I have already start regretting it. But like I said, this is a place where I think and write ALOUD. I may be sorry for what I have said, but I would not regret it. Can someone regret about what he said or did? What's the point and purpose of regretting anyway?.... as if things would be different. I would rather be sorry than to regret of things past.

So make your decision. What you read may probably be UNpleasant but it is at least an honest view of things. My point of view, that is. Everyone is a hypocrite to a certain level, but I will try to be damn honest in this blog. The only problem is whether you can accept and accommodate that. If you find you cannot do so, then just stop visiting this blog. Don't even attempt to tolerate my writing, cause you will end up bursting and confront me of what I wrote.

Is this warning fair enough?