Friday, January 06, 2006

I seriously wanted to do her in....God Help Me

Here's what runs in my mind these past week.
  • Break the rear mirror of her car. (rear mirror is much more expensive and usually not insured)
  • And then follow by dumping in several bags of shit and urine so that she will have to change her seats.
  • Pour several bottles of gasoline into her car and set it on fire.
  • Give her a tight slap in front of her colleagues.
  • Pulling her hair and drag her across tables and chairs in the company canteen.
  • Visit her children at school and tell her how bad their mother was/is in treating others in office.
  • Call her a bitch and asshole.
  • Shout at her with all my might.
That's the amount of hate brewing in my heart. It's painful, very painful. I feel so much anger and so useless. With all these evil thoughts, I feel like demon possessed.

Leave it to the Lord, leave it to the Lord. Let Him be the judge and executioner. Leave it to the Lord, my heart cry out. But these cries only add to the pains already in me and does little to reduce the urge for me to do real hurt to her. I feel like I am moving to the dark side. Anger is consuming me. Tried to get some relief by crying, but not a single tear falls from my face.

Brothers and Sisters, forgive me for revealing this dark, violent side of me.
Please pray for me that I would not be consume by anger.