Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Today is a very sad and busy day for me. And Air Asia shares part of the blame for causing this sadness in me. Wonder how long would this feeling ends...

The day started fine with a packet of nasi lemak, one 'yew char quay' and a huge pack of soya bean milk that I have brought from the SS2 morning market. While cracking me head over some electronic circuits, a call from my gf came. She was telling me that one of her friend's friend has actually arrange for a trip to Bangkok, taking advantage of the 1,000,000 promotional free seats offered by Air Asia. Emm...i thought that was good. And then she informed me that the cost of the tickets(airport tax and other hidden ones) cost about RM300 and that she hope to go. Well....that fine with me! Now, here comes the cruncher. She wants me to go with her. Now, I am perplexed. Anyway, I asked her what is the budget? She said she don't know... and added that it may not be expensive.... Besides, one of the main reason is that one of the frens, frens, know Bangkok pretty well and she may be our tour guide. Still I ask her, what's the budget? (would that be too much to ask?)

I then told her that 4 days over there may cost at least RM400 for accommodation, food may cost another RM100 and what about international passport? The whole thing may come to at least RM1K. So I ask this ok with her? At this point in time, I think both of us got irritated. For me, I am irritated that this thing come so sudden and that decision must be made immediately. In addition to that, the budget is basically unknown. She is irritated that I have just pour a pail of cold water on her. And then the conversation started to be more emotional than rational.
She started those response like - " Ok-lor...then i will just tell my fren that we will join them next time's always like that with you one...."
Having known her for so many years...i know what's in her mind and it will take at least a few days for her to recover from her dissapointment, not to mention the cold treatment....But at the same time i just can't help to think, why my gf acted in such a way...

Of course, I have always felt guilty that after 6 to 7 years of knowing her...we have not been to anywhere for holidays...I am not a stingy person, i know that...but sometimes, things just doesn't fall into place. Money could be an issue, time could be an issue, destination could also be one too.

The fact is, I feel guilty towards her and I promise will conpensate her at a later time.

But's it's pretty obvious that her patience is running thin. (something which I cannot fathom as I could not foresee anything that would prevent us from having a holiday in the next one or two years)

But then again, are we missing that much from a lack of holidays?

Perhaps, she is constantly surrounded by friends and colleagues that are too eager to share their holidays with others. Some to this island, some to Bali, some to Jeju island etcetra etcetra etcetra...

So what is stopping me from going for holidays? MONEY! It is not possible for me to spend 1K just for a holidays when I am still trying hard to repay my credit card bills! TAKE NOTE!
It is not that I am not willing to spend 1K for holidays, but NOT when I am still in debt! I do not want to be somebody who always portrays a wealthy image when in actual fact, empty inside.
If my bank has 1K in saving, I would have just emptied it for a trip for both of us!

So tell me...did I acted selfishly? Did I? Am I stingy?

I wanted to blame the whole world for her behaviour, but I guess it helps nothing. So what if we didn't go for holidays? So what? Why people just can't prioritise? Besides, if I have 1K now...I would have save for my wedding. Both of us are already 32 years old, how long should we wait to decide on starting this process of saving? Why are you NOT together with me on this, darling? Why?