I have no idea....

I always have a thirst for God's word. And I always crave for fellowship in Christ. But recently, I have not been reading much. The Bible was not touched for quite some time. Articles in Agora mailing list does not interest me that much. Instead, malaysiakini becomes my frequented web site, replacing the Agora groups.

It must be my office work that is causing these.

Fellowship....how much I long to meet more brothers and sisters in Christ. How much I long for love and concern from them. How much I wanted to listen to their stuggles and pain in trying to live up to God's expectation. How much I wanted to listen to their failures and relate to my own failures. How much I need their comforting words, encouraging me to press on.

Yet, I behave in such a passive manner. Instead of finding them, joining them, I expect them to find me. Is this ego? I was hoping that God will find the right person and reveal to me at the right time. Somehow, I felt that I should not rush on matters like these. Why do I think and behave like this? I have no idea....